A row has broken out between the Taoiseach’s office and Ryanair over the refusal to return the deposit on a trip to Washington. This year’s annual trip by the Irish Premier to visit the White House is looking ever more doubtful after Kenny went to the polls and the country responded with “meh….”

The return of the €65 plus taxes and booking fee, but not including baggage insurance and possibly including car hire, plus €5 for using a debit card charge are said to be top priority for the Department of Taoiseach. It is believed this matter is the reason for the delay in forming a government, with Enda Kenny’s handlers working night and day to resolve the issue.

Go Ask Me Bolleex

Ryanair today issued a statement saying “Go ask me bolleex”. A defiant yet cheerful Michael O Leary then went on to add “For the next 5 minutes all seats to Amsterdam are now only €19.99”

The Chair of the Public Accounts Committee today called for a lengthy Tribunal to get to the bottom of it. Mister Justice The Right Honourable Ernest P Smythe III, Senior Council, announced “It’s vital that this money is not wasted and returned to the taxpayer. I am therefore advising the government to launch an inquiry into the matter”. He then handed us a bill for €250 for his time and fucked off to the pub.

The White House today issued a statement saying “they are looking forward to receiving Prime Minister Edna Kelly & cannot wait to get another bowl of weeds”.